I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
