A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
