You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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