well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
