Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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