you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize