I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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