Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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