Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
