I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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