I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't deserve a penis
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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