Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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