1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
