my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize