I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it's like iHOP with fire
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
