I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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