he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
