Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
