I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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