look no pants
dude i'm inner monologue high
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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