It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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