OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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