I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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