Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
