I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
