Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
