does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
