i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
