she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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