just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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