fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
