turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let's get the cat blown out
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
