the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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