you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize