I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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