fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
