I wish i was in the wii world.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
