im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How's work?
Spinning.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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