It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
