she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
