if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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