whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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