Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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