It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
