Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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