You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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