She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
