I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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