your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
