I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
