Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you made out with another girl for some wings
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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