wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
