just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
