Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
