Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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