don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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