He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
