I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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