New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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