Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
