quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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