I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
