Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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