i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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