You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
